35

I had my 35th birthday.  I told my family I have some gray hairs and my son said..."You're turning into an old lady!"  Slowly, quickly, I am.

14 years of marriage.  3 kids.  17 years of being an "adult".

I've learned a few things along the way...

1.  I LOVE coffee.  It's always worth it to buy the good stuff.

2.  There are some things you just can't understand until you experience them.  Like being pregnant, birth, adoption, and becoming a mother.  Amazing.  It makes you see things and feel things you never did before.  It is an "ah-ha" moment.

 

3.  Don't buy cheap.  Buy quality.  In the long run, you'll be glad, and it probably will be less expensive.

4.  Love is patient and love is kind.  If it's not patient and kind, it's not love.  

5.  How to vacation better.  [i.e. Just because a place uses the word "resort" it doesn't mean it is one, be very leery of a "brief" time share presentation and never let them take you off site with their transportation, and, say, for instance, your car breaks down, 3 weeks before your vacation to Florida, it doesn't mean you should buy a convertible.]

6.  I used to eat for energy now I enjoy food.  The more good food I have the more it ruins me for the mediocre.  [Faves like almond scones, cheesecake, curry, pasta, homemade salsa, and a good burger.]  I'm getting hungry.

7.  Read.  Find the library.  I could easily go without tv except for occasional movies [and currently, Downton Abbey].

8.  Kids are a ton of work.  They also make you realize your own problems.  I didn't think I had any anger 'til I had kids and then it came out.  So does selfishness and fear.  And exhaustion.

9.  If I could, I'd sit down with my 18 year old self and remind her of a few things.

• Youth and singleness is an opportunity.  Take it.  There isn't the same freedom once you are thinking about a spouse and children.  
• I know what it's like to live with regret as do most adults...listen to those who you know love you.  They, most likely, would love to spare you difficulty. 

10.  Why is it- what we want for someone we love [say our child or a younger sibling]- we wouldn't demand for ourselves?  Respect yourself, you are a treasure.

11.  Marriage is hard work.  Two imperfect people pledging their lives to each other for EVER.  It's crazy.  You're gonna need a lot of grace and God's help.  Feelings come and go.  You'll need an anchor.  Some days you can't stand each other and other days will be heaven on earth.  Choose each other...every day.

12.  Tell those you love that you love them.  Crazy much.  Every day.  No matter what.

13.  The valuable things in life aren't things.  It's people and relationships.

14.  Be a life long student.

15.  Travel.  It will broaden your world and perspective.

16.  Surround yourself with beauty.  I read once that beauty draws us to God and I believe it.

17.  When kids are hurting, the parents are most likely hurting too, and sometimes more.

18.  Kiss your kids and look them in the eyes.

19.  The master bedroom should be a peaceful place.  Keep it that way so it is a retreat at the end of the day.

20.  Discover what you love and go for it.  I never knew I loved art and many "creative" things until I was thirty.

21.  Be where you are.

22.  You never know where you might find a friend.

23.  Someone wise once gave me this advice..."With great risk comes great reward".   It's proven true.

24.  Simplicity=beauty.

25.  Buy good pillows for your bed.  I mean, really, why not?

26.  You can endure far more than you think you can.  What once seemed a scary, unknown will become old hat.  Proof: I haven't fainted in crisis, or at the sight of blood, in, like, 15 years.

27.  Find ways to unwind and rest.  I'm not very good at it but I'm learning.  Things that feed you.  A walk, music, [quiet] alone time, yoga & pilates.  I also like going to Target at 9pm when the store has nearly no customers and I can just stand and stare at the dish soap.

28.  People say..."I could never [do] _______________".  Yes, you could.  You can.  [Often] You have to.

29.  Becoming a parent has helped me to discover how God feels about me.  He loves me something fierce.  I'm His child, I really am, and He is proud of me.

30.  You can feel alone in a full room, in a family, in marriage, in parenting...everyone needs to know they are not alone.

31.  I like wearing high heels, even if they make me 6 feet tall.

32.  Home improvements usually hit "snags".

33.  When I'm happy and inspired, I like to clean.  When I'm angry, I like to clean.  When I'm stressed or overwhelmed, I like to clean.

34.  You are never "ready" for kids.  All 3 of ours were "planned" and each time it felt like jumping off a cliff into the unknown.

35.   You are living your story.  Live a good one.
 

Linking up with The Better Mom.

Randoms

My random occurrences and thoughts from the past week [ish]:

Jude got stung by a bee for the first time.  I pulled the stinger out with a tweezer.  By this time he was breaking out in a rash.  His shoulders and upper back had large clusters of red.  He was crying and my husband was giving him Benadryl.  Called the clinic.  First, the nurse wanted to know if he was breathing ok.  She said the reaction is fairly immediate so now that 15+ minutes had passed the worst was over and he should be fine.  He was showing a large local reaction but not a severe allergic reaction.  Good to know.  

On the potty training front and Addie.  I'm scared to take her diaper off.  She had a great first day with success [x3].  She is happy about the experiences and says she has to "go potty" nearly non-stop.  She is very motivated by getting gummy bears.  Day 2 she pooped on the bathroom floor about six inches from the potty chair.  Day 3 she pooped on the bathroom floor about six inches from the potty chair.  At the time, I didn't think it was that funny.  As I was down on my hands and knees cleaning this up, she says to me "Good job, Mom!"

I miss our old home.  The house, yes, but the people the most.  Maybe at first it was easier because of the initial effort it takes to move and the excitement of new things.  It is exciting.  It's good and it's right but it's still hard.  Today's message in church was about connecting in community and the support we should be for each other.  Yes, it's so true and our ten years in MN were a real example of this.  We experienced true friendships, and "family", in our church.  I don't know how long it will take for the new to become home.  I'm trying.  I like it here.  We have budding new friendships.  Yet, I'm grieving the loss of friends and life there. 

Our last "party" at the old [previous] house...as we celebrated Jude's 5th birthday.

I have found my new hair stylist [it has taken me a while to find a new someone who "gets" me].  She is one of those people who is happy on the inside and it comes out in a natural way.  She gave me a great cut which is the whole point!  The atmosphere....smelled divine.  She also told me she thought I was in my 20s, so if the previous reasons didn't win me over she had me with that one. 

~Kate 

ten on ten: August

Finding much life and beauty among the ordinary things of our day

Linking up here:

Oasis

What do you think of when you hear the word oasis?  

The Mr. and I were in a small group at church and the facilitator asked...
"Is your home an oasis?" 

I smiled and I may have laughed.  Images of our home and life with our children [9, 5, and 2 year old] flashed through my mind.  I'd use various words to describe our home but "oasis" doesn't come to mind.  

Life is messy [literally, get out the disinfectant, I'll spare you the details].  It's noisy.  It's moving fast.  [I tend to like quiet.]  Most of the time it feels like I'm not up for this.  

I want our home to be an oasis.  A place that "provides refuge, relief and pleasant change from what is difficult".

I hope in the midst of...

walking on Legos,
cleaning up my son's concoction of "hosta leaf soup" [from the bathroom sink],
treating rashes and bee stings,
wiping noses and booties,
wondering why the kids seem to destroy so many things,
reminding to be kind [don't hit and don't growl].  And that's just the kids!


...[in the midst of] all this life, I hope our home is an oasis.  

I recently read this... "Peace: not the absence of noise, trouble or hard work but to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."  

I love it.  I need it.  I also need a full night's sleep because tomorrow we're going to do it all again and our children will go, go, go....until they crash at the end of the day.  

Every night before I go to bed, I "tuck them in".  It's a sweet routine that reminds me how thankful I am for these three amazing children.
  

Jude's imagination never ends.  

Grace nurtures Addie and it is beautiful to see.  

Goodnight!

Kate 

Light On

Remember the thrift store lamp I wrote about here?  It's gone white.  My husband thinks it looks like a giant chess piece.  

You know how one thing leads to another?  Well, while I was at it I decided to paint [have my husband paint] the other  lamp white to bring them together in unity.

For a before paint job photo, I found two baby dolls tucked in the lampshade.  Not sure who put them there but it wasn't me.  Creative.

And to bring the lamps together in further unity I headed over to Target for two white drum shades.  

Time=minimal.

Thrifted lamps= The top one was $3.50 and the bottom one I've had for years [paid $2.50].

Paint=on hand.

Shades=about 15 bucks x2.

I like it.  Thinking about what else I can paint white...

 

~Kate 

Linking up with Simple Design.

Addie's [African] Hair Care

I feel like Addie was seriously ripped off when it comes to a mother and her hair care.  I'm learning.  Prior to her coming home it was cut short.  Then once she got home it started falling out and I wondered if it was due to how I was caring for it?  The doctor seemed to think it was due to malnutrition.  Well, the hair...it's been growing!

What I've learned...

1. I was washing it too much [and the shampoo was too harsh] so I cut that down to once a week and used an organic shampoo [Shea Moisture Organic Baby Wash & Shampoo, which is without sulfates & parabens].  
2. Her hair is very thirsty.  I used organic coconut oil as conditioner by liquefying it and spraying it on her hair after her bath.  Recently I added Shea Moisture Hold & Shine Moisture Mist and would spray on in the morning before styling.  
3. On styling, up to this point I have mastered the "puffs".  Which on a good day look something like this...

But let's be real, a lot of days, it looks more like this...

Lately I've been on a hunt for the best hair products for her so I put the question out to other adoptive parents in our Ethiopian travel group.  Teach me.  Tell me.  Help me!  I got lots of great input and bought this new product, Aubrey Organics Moisturizing Conditioner, which I've been leaving in Addie's hair instead of washing it out [more great advice from another mom]. The earlier mentioned products didn't seem to be moisture intensive enough on their own. 

This week I tried a new style.  The "twists".  She was happy to let me twist it while she was in the tub. 

Oh, my goodness, I think it is just the cutest on her.  Maybe this is a bit more as her beautiful African hair should be?  And that makes me happy. 

~Kate