Sandals waiting

When I look out our living room window I see banks of snow.

When I look out our back windows I see a yard full of snow.

But if I go outside and look closer I can see tulips and daffodils popping up through the snow.

I was thinking about how we see things differently depending on our perspective.

Yes, the snow exists.  But if I look past all the piles of snow I can see signs of spring.

In my own life, I won't deny there are parts of my life that have been stuck in [perpetual] winter. There are times when winter seems so desperately long [especially when we lived in northern Minnesota].  The hope of spring had a deeper meaning.  I felt like a survivor after making it another long, cold winter.  

But spring always came.  It will always come.  Sometimes it doesn't feel true.  Still, it is.  Similarly, there are things we hold out hope for.  And the "winters" are long.  The seasons of holding on to hope are long.  Maybe days pass, or weeks, sometimes years or even decades.  It feels like we can't hang on any longer.  Often we feel like banging our head against the wall.  We see no sign of spring. We see more snow and forecasts of more snow.  We don't think we can shovel anymore.

My kids asked how they could help to bring spring here faster.  They asked if it would help if they spread out the snow so it melts faster.  I can relate to the feeling.  It's as if I want to bring a blow dryer out into my back yard.  The absurdity is true but yet the feeling is true.  We have had enough.  
Yet there is nothing we can do to make spring come faster.  We wait.  It will come.  In my life, this has been a season where "spring" is coming into my heart and life.  I have seen things come that have been long hoped for.  I celebrate the long anticipated new life, the "spring".  Winter is letting go...and warmth and growth and life are replacing it.  Maybe it's that much sweeter when the wait has been long.  

We see the thermometer says 40 degrees.  Here in Wisconsin, it appears, it's reason to celebrate. People are outside, dressed with remarkably light clothing, and unusually happy.  You would think it was actually warm out today.  We know it's true...spring is near.  It's just a matter of time.

In our family, we are still wearing jackets and boots outside but inside we've got sandals waiting. We're ready.

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul, 

and sings the song without the words and never stops at all."
~Emily Dickinson~

pass the dramamine

I've been blogging for over a year.  I had a few reasons for starting to blog.  First, I love to write.  I thought it would be a good outlet for me especially after our move.  It was a way for me to reach out beyond my introverted ways and hopefully connect.  I hoped it would be a way for me to document our life, encourage me to take pictures, and help me to remember life's moments.  I also hoped it would be enjoyable for others to read and that they would find it encouraging rather than full of endless photos of my kids.  

Yesterday was a day to document in our lives.  The Mr. and I had a date on the calendar five days in advance. This was not an ordinary day.  It was time for a conversation to take place.  And so it did.  

We drove to Milwaukee and had dinner at a restaurant [Swig] in the historical district, the Third Ward.  Dinner out is a big deal for us.  We've increased our dating average since our move, so progress is good, but as far as a real legitimate dinner date [not including shopping dates, going out with friends or attending church events] I think we're at about 3 times a year.  

Last night was one of our real dates.  You know, a look me in the eyes, eat delish food, and talk and laugh together.  It felt good.  

We talked about our future.  It has been quite a [no one word could describe it] time.  A "You've got to be kidding, God"  kind of year.  It seems He isn't kidding but He does have a great sense of humor.  I'm not sure if irony is the right word choice but I think it's close to ironic.  The great thing to me is this....I don't know how it is going to work out, yet there is good in the process. We can grow in the waiting.  God has good things in store for us whatever the outcome.  God is good.  Maybe in the growing pains, waiting, and trusting, we see with more clarity how very good He is.  

I'm scared.  But I believe God is calling me to faith and courage.  I can trust Him.  If I had allowed fear to talk me out of previous decisions we never would have had kids, taken new jobs, ministries, or moved, and we definitely wouldn't have adopted our youngest child.  I don't know how it's going to turn out.  I don't control the outcome.  But I'm asked to take the leap of faith.  I've said it many times...having children felt like jumping off a cliff to me...jumping into the unknown.  Some decisions feel like boarding an airplane.  I do not like flying...at all.  But I'm glad I've gotten on the airplane...or I would have missed adventures [like Africa].  It's time to board the airplane. [Pass the dramamine].

So, here I am documenting the latest chapter in our journey.  My February 22 devos read:  "Wait.  It is not for you to know.  All you are told is to wait and see what God does.  All of His work is done on His initiative and He takes time to prepare us for it." 

On January 22 I read this verse, "That clinches it- help's coming, an answer's on the way, everything's going to work out."  [Psalm 20:6, msg] and I wrote this.

I heard this song for the first time yesterday and it was the perfect song for my day.  

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

[x6]

I will call upon Your Name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

Ten on Ten: March

Finding much life and beauty among the ordinary things of our day

Linking up with a bit of sunshine 

Beauty and the 2%

Last night, as I was looking for an Easter dress for my daughter, I remembered something I heard last week. You've probably seen Dove's campaign over recent years?  They conducted a study- "The real truth about beauty"- which revealed that 2% of women consider themselves beautiful.  

2 Percent.

For some reason it stuck with me and I've thought of it a few times this week.  Now, overall, I like Dove's attempt to help women feel good about themselves and show that beauty can look [different] many ways.  I appreciate the natural photographs of real women and older women who are aging gracefully.  That being said, I also wondered if the whole question is wrong.  

Now if I were to fill out an official survey and I had to check the box yes or no if I would consider myself beautiful...I would check no.  I am not saying this, in any way, so I receive positive affirmation/comments that I am indeed "beautiful".  When I see what is depicted as beautiful in society I find areas of my own looks that don't fit the bill.  This is not to say that I don't think I have attractive features, because I think I do.  Long story short I wouldn't put myself in the 2%.  

For me, I've tried to sort out this topic before.  I have physical features that aren't my favorite.   People say the darndest things too.  

But then I get a grip and think...You know, does it really matter?!  If I'm "beautiful" or not.  Beautiful, as in meeting the standards set by some classic definition.  And even if the unattainable definition of true "beauty" is met...who cares?  At the end of my life is anyone going to say...Kate made such a difference in my life because she had the best figure?  Will my kids say the thing they appreciated most was that I was so pretty?  Will people at my funeral say what they loved about me was my stunning good looks?  God, help us, I hope not!  

Our culture is obsessed with [outward] beauty.  As a mother to two daughters, I hope I teach them that there are far more important questions than "Am I pretty?"  

Maybe surveys should ask questions that matter.  Why is the main focus on pretty?  It's fine to be pretty but the inward qualities of my daughters are far more important.  Are you kind?  Are you loving [God & people]?  Are you embracing life, learning, and growing?  Are you strong?  Are you standing up for what's right?  Are you living a truthful life?  Are you a good friend?  Are you a diligent student?   Do you realize that you are precious, valuable, and a one-of-a kind original?   

Not that there is anything wrong with pretty.  I like pretty things and so do both my girls.  They love to wear dresses and jewelry.  But, as their mom, I do not want to do anything to add to the pressure and the overwhelming message of society on the importance of how they look.  I want the message to be...they are loved.  They are enough.  I love them because they are my daughters.  

The people I love are beautiful to me.  I see them, I know their story, I see the way they give to others, the joy they bring and they are beautiful.  Of course, I'm biased.  I don't know if they would be considered "beautiful" on a survey.  I don't care.   I hope I follow their examples and help to make life more beautiful for them and others.

Then I remember I am a daughter, a valuable, a one-of-a kind original and that leads me to re-think the question, "Am I beautiful?"  Yes, I am.  


 

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