Hang On

Ever feel like this? 

Sock Monkey joined our family last fall to bring a smile to Grace when she was really sick with a virus.  [She ran a high fever for 21 days straight.]  It was one of those hang on, weary times.  Since then Sock Monkey has been carried, thrown, dropped, and dragged around.  He has not become one of the kids' favorite "stuffies" so, at the end of the day, I often find him in odd places but usually not snuggled in bed with one of the kids.  

Ever feel like you need strength to hang in there?  

The sprint has turned into a marathon and the marathon into an ultra marathon [there are crazy people who run more than 26 miles!].  This is completely metaphorically speaking, of course, because I don't actually run.  At all.  It would be a lot easier to "run" in life if I wasn't carrying so much luggage.  Luggage I'm pretty sure I have determined not to pack up and bring with me anymore.  Luggage I don't even like.  You know, when you're at the airport...it's that ugly luggage you'd be embarrassed to carry around.  Maybe it's 1960's green...and it probably has a good amount of duct tape around it to keep it together.  Come to think of it, I'm not even sure it's my luggage anymore.  I'd probably advance a lot more in the race too if I wasn't running around the same old block for the millionth time.  "Gosh, I've been here before.  This is awfully familiar..."  

 

 I like this quote:  “When the scale of trials is light, the scale of comfort will be light as well, but when the scale of trials is full, the scale of comfort will be equally as heavy.   When the clouds are the darkest, God’s light is more brightly revealed.  Trials make more room for comfort.” [Spurgeon]

"Trials make more room for comfort".  When Grace was so sick, it was awful to watch her suffer but it was [especially] sweet being with her.  Sometimes in these moments, although hard, life gets simpler.  Other things don't matter quite so much.  We see the good things more clearly.  And we realize...we really are thankful, 

~Kate   

Linking up with GraceLaced Mondays, The Better Mom

One [Beautiful] Year

Dear Addis Nigat,

What a difference a year makes!

 A year ago daddy and I were staying at our agency’s guesthouse in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, getting to know you.

 

Then, just a few days later, we were getting on an airplane with you, our tiny little baby we hardly knew, and bringing you [the 8,000 miles] home with us!   It felt so surreal and unbelievable.

The dream that began three years before was coming true.

You were quiet and snuggly.  You loved your white gauzy blanket, being held, and sucking on your left pointer finger.  The nannies who cared for you described you as a “peaceful” baby.

You were just a feather.  Ten months old and wearing size 3 month clothes.

And now, just a year later, it feels as if you’ve always been with us, a part of us.  

 I believe God answered our prayer and picked you for us.  He put us together and I’m so thankful.  You needed a family and we needed you.  You are a gift.  You bring joy.  Sometimes when you are laughing I close my eyes and think of what a beautiful sound it is and it ministers to my soul…like giant waves. 

I am so thankful for the wonderful privilege of being your mother.

Sometimes I wonder how we will tell you your story or when you will realize you have beautiful brown skin and we don’t.  We will protect your story because it is yours.  It breaks my heart to know the loss you and your family of origin experienced so early in your life.  I pray God gives grace for this grief. 

I wish your biological mother knew how amazing you are.  You are loved.  

 You are thriving.  You are beautiful.  The doctors tell us your progress is “amazing”.   

We have celebrated many milestones this year as you have learned to sit, crawl, stand, walk, laugh, talk, and we’ve experienced so many firsts with you.

 

You love books but insist we read your favorites.   Daddy and I have memorized quite a few as a result.
[The Eye Book.  The Foot Book.  Five Little Monkeys.  Over In the Meadow.  Brown Bear...] 
 “More”, you say usually before we’ve even finished the last page.
 

You’re not really into toys but you love emptying the Tupperware cupboard, brushing your teeth, climbing, going outside [you are usually looking for a duck], and have a few random items you like to put in your “pack pack”.   You like wearing things around your neck…necklaces, scarves, medals, or dress up clothes.  You like "pretty" things.  I am sorry about the styling of your hair...I'm trying but I don't really have a clue how to manage all your curls.
 

   You are usually very happy but you can throw a serious fit if we don’t give you what you want which is usually a cookie or other sweet food.

April 2011, 10 months                                                                      April 2012, 22 months

You are 22 months old now.  Yes, you are fun.  Busy and noisy.  And did I mention…CUTE?   You are SO cute I could eat you up.  We all love teaching you new words.   Recent favorites you are saying:  
What happened?  Oh, happy day!  Cay have some?  Doduts.  Rumor has it.  Saturday.  Delicious.

I am so thankful for how we have bonded in our first year together.  

I love you so much, my sweet baby girl.  I trust my love for you will show you God’s overwhelming love for you.
 

You are precious.  You are loved.  

You are one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened in my life. 

Love, your mama

[Sunset over Addis Ababa, April 16, 2011.]

Just Write 

Ten on Ten

Ten on Ten- April 10th

Today I'm linking up with A Bit of Sunshine with her Ten on Ten project.  

A photo an hour for ten consecutive hours on the 10th day of the month.   

Finding life and beauty among the ordinary things of our day.  
I've been completely loving being able to take pictures today because we've been without a camera for months and our new camera just arrived yesterday. 

I'm a little snap happy and, so, without further ado, here are my ten pictures from today...

 

9am- the spring wreath Grace, Jude, and I made out of egg cartons last week

 

10am- blooms from our backyard

11am- Addie playing peek-a-boo with her favorite blanket

12pm- if you finish your lunch you can eat the bunny

 

1pm- tea time

2pm- Addie playing "Little People"...she likes the chicken best

3pm- Addie, her baby, and a box of raisins
 

4pm- Jude, a pile of cars, action figures, and some great sound effects

5pm- Captain America to the rescue

6pm- Grace took a school field trip to a quarry today and gave us the recap 

Minus the outtakes [which might be a great post!], this sums up my day...
I hope you had a lovely day and found beauty even in the ordinary things. 

~Kate 

Life As It Really Is

I'm in a bit of a funk.  Don't really feel like I can be in a funk.  

The sun is shining.  Inspiration is everywhere.  Motivation is lacking.  

I'm finding it hard to do the next thing.  

 Life as it really is...and depending on my perspective I can see the sun or focus on the shadows. 

I am challenged.  A part of it is just being tired.  Being a mother contributes to me being tired but then living with myself makes me tired.  Then the tiredness can lead me to feel mildly depressed.  This is a crazy cycle.

 
God, help me to see the beauty in this grand life I'm living.  

Addie Baby has been waking up at night for weeks.  Quite predictably at 3:30a.m.  I am half alive at this time (this is no exaggeration).  My husband cannot understand my gift of deep sleep.  

By the way, he should win an award for his nighttime parenting heroism.  Last night, by an act of God, I actually made it out of bed, picked up Addie, and made it to the living room rocking chair.

There we were together, in the darkness of the room, me, rocking myself to sleep and Addie, using her sing-song voice and saying my name ["mama"], touching my face, and singing to me.  

Happy as a clam with her nearly comatose mother.  

These are the moments.  Life as it really is.  This is the life I dreamed of living.  I'm living it. 

Making the coffee strong and often.  Doing the next thing. 

~Kate 

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