Sunday, August 26, 2012

35

I had my 35th birthday.  I told my family I have some gray hairs and my son said..."You're turning into an old lady!"  Slowly, quickly, I am.

14 years of marriage.  3 kids.  17 years of being an "adult".


I've learned a few things along the way...

1.  I LOVE coffee.  It's always worth it to buy the good stuff.


2.  There are some things you just can't understand until you experience them.  Like being pregnant, birth, adoption, and becoming a mother.  Amazing.  It makes you see things and feel things you never did before.  It is an "ah-ha" moment.

 

3.  Don't buy cheap.  Buy quality.  In the long run, you'll be glad, and it probably will be less expensive.

4.  Love is patient and love is kind.  If it's not patient and kind, it's not love.  


5.  How to vacation better.  [i.e. Just because a place uses the word "resort" it doesn't mean it is one, be very leery of a "brief" time share presentation and never let them take you off site with their transportation, and, say, for instance, your car breaks down, 3 weeks before your vacation to Florida, it doesn't mean you should buy a convertible.]

6.  I used to eat for energy now I enjoy food.  The more good food I have the more it ruins me for the mediocre.  [Faves like almond scones, cheesecake, curry, pasta, homemade salsa, and a good burger.]  I'm getting hungry.

7.  Read.  Find the library.  I could easily go without tv except for occasional movies [and currently, Downton Abbey].

8.  Kids are a ton of work.  They also make you realize your own problems.  I didn't think I had any anger 'til I had kids and then it came out.  So does selfishness and fear.  And exhaustion.


9.  If I could, I'd sit down with my 18 year old self and remind her of a few things.
  • Youth and singleness is an opportunity.  Take it.  There isn't the same freedom once you are thinking about a spouse and children.  
  • I know what it's like to live with regret as do most adults...listen to those who you know love you.  They, most likely, would love to spare you difficulty. 
10.  Why is it- what we want for someone we love [say our child or a younger sibling]- we wouldn't demand for ourselves?  Respect yourself, you are a treasure.


11.  Marriage is hard work.  Two imperfect people pledging their lives to each other for EVER.  It's crazy.  You're gonna need a lot of grace and God's help.  Feelings come and go.  You'll need an anchor.  Some days you can't stand each other and other days will be heaven on earth.  Choose each other...every day.


12.  Tell those you love that you love them.  Crazy much.  Every day.  No matter what.


13.  The valuable things in life aren't things.  It's people and relationships.


14.  Be a life long student.

15.  Travel.  It will broaden your world and perspective.


16.  Surround yourself with beauty.  I read once that beauty draws us to God and I believe it.


17.  When kids are hurting, the parents are most likely hurting too, and sometimes more.

18.  Kiss your kids and look them in the eyes.


19.  The master bedroom should be a peaceful place.  Keep it that way so it is a retreat at the end of the day.


20.  Discover what you love and go for it.  I never knew I loved art and many "creative" things until I was thirty.


21.  Be where you are.


22.  You never know where you might find a friend.

23.  Someone wise once gave me this advice..."With great risk comes great reward".   It's proven true.

24.  Simplicity=beauty.

25.  Buy good pillows for your bed.  I mean, really, why not?

26.  You can endure far more than you think you can.  What once seemed a scary, unknown will become old hat.  Proof: I haven't fainted in crisis, or at the sight of blood, in, like, 15 years.


27.  Find ways to unwind and rest.  I'm not very good at it but I'm learning.  Things that feed you.  A walk, music, [quiet] alone time, yoga & pilates.  I also like going to Target at 9pm when the store has nearly no customers and I can just stand and stare at the dish soap.

28.  People say..."I could never [do] _______________".  Yes, you could.  You can.  [Often] You have to.

29.  Becoming a parent has helped me to discover how God feels about me.  He loves me something fierce.  I'm His child, I really am, and He is proud of me.


30.  You can feel alone in a full room, in a family, in marriage, in parenting...everyone needs to know they are not alone.

31.  I like wearing high heels, even if they make me 6 feet tall.

32.  Home improvements usually hit "snags".

33.  When I'm happy and inspired, I like to clean.  When I'm angry, I like to clean.  When I'm stressed or overwhelmed, I like to clean.


34.  You are never "ready" for kids.  All 3 of ours were "planned" and each time it felt like jumping off a cliff into the unknown.


35.   You are living your story.  Live a good one.
 

Linking up with The Better Mom.

8 comments:

Becky said...

Love it! Happy, Happy Birthday! :) Becky

Farm-Raised said...

You are both wise and beautiful, friend from afar! Happy birthday!

The Author said...

Wow, Kate! what amazing words of wisdom. God has been showing me a lot of what you just wrote in my own life, and I'm thankful to see it being fleshed out in someone else's! I can relate to you in many ways and feel like we are very alike. Thanks for writing. :)

angie leverence said...

I've learned some things by reading this. Thank you beautiful Kate.

C Standing said...

Thank you Kate, lovely and heartfelt from a beautiful person

Kate said...

Thanks so much for the sweet comments, and birthday wishes, friends.

Seth said...

#21 - Man, that's hard to do.
#29 - Love the sentiment, "He loves me something fierce." That hits me something fierce.
#35 - You been reading Donald Miller lately?

Btw, happy 35th. Here's to 70 more!

Kate said...

Seth,
Ah, yes, I did read some Miller last winter. Seems it may have stuck.

Btw, I am locked out of your private blog...otherwise I'd be one of your avid readers.

Hope you, your sweet wife, and darling boys are having fantastic days together.

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