Life As It Really Is

I'm in a bit of a funk.  Don't really feel like I can be in a funk.  

The sun is shining.  Inspiration is everywhere.  Motivation is lacking.  

I'm finding it hard to do the next thing.  

 Life as it really is...and depending on my perspective I can see the sun or focus on the shadows. 

I am challenged.  A part of it is just being tired.  Being a mother contributes to me being tired but then living with myself makes me tired.  Then the tiredness can lead me to feel mildly depressed.  This is a crazy cycle.

 
God, help me to see the beauty in this grand life I'm living.  

Addie Baby has been waking up at night for weeks.  Quite predictably at 3:30a.m.  I am half alive at this time (this is no exaggeration).  My husband cannot understand my gift of deep sleep.  

By the way, he should win an award for his nighttime parenting heroism.  Last night, by an act of God, I actually made it out of bed, picked up Addie, and made it to the living room rocking chair.

There we were together, in the darkness of the room, me, rocking myself to sleep and Addie, using her sing-song voice and saying my name ["mama"], touching my face, and singing to me.  

Happy as a clam with her nearly comatose mother.  

These are the moments.  Life as it really is.  This is the life I dreamed of living.  I'm living it. 

Making the coffee strong and often.  Doing the next thing. 

~Kate 

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