Saturday, October 19, 2013

growing apples

I'm thinking of change and what motivates us.  I have been talking to our 10 year old daughter about friendship and manners.  When people talk to her or ask her a question, she should answer them.  Be friendly and engage in conversation.  It's like throwing a ball, I'll say.  She says something to them- that's throwing the ball.  They respond- that's them throwing the ball back. And on it goes in a conversation.  She'll do what I ask, usually, when I am watching her.  But the other day I asked, do you "throw the ball" when I'm not around?  

Here's the thing, and maybe it's harder for me than for you.  I'm of the personality type that looks for results.  I tend to focus on the outside.  When I think of needing to change myself, my tendency is to start with what I can do. I make the list.  Set a goal.  Do things that will help me.  A new habit. New effort. New challenge.  And all of that can be good and helpful.  But it can really fall flat.  What if it's not about me and my efforts?  

You see, my daughter can do what I've asked because I've pounded into her the demand she should do x,y,z. But how much better when I see it's her desire to be a friendly, kind girl and smile and talk with others? When genuine love for others is motivating her.  I read a great illustration (from here) this week and I keep thinking of it...

"Fruit is born from the inside -- not applied to the outside.

Imagine that the fruit you desired was the edible variety, so you went out into your yard and planted an apple tree. Just suppose that one day, while you were waiting for the apples to begin growing on your tree, you caught a glimpse of a neighbor's apple tree. You noticed in admiration that its branches were laden with big, luscious apples. What would you do? Would you run to the produce market to buy some apples, then go home, and in the dead of night, tie them onto your tree? If you did, the sight of your tree might really impress your neighbors. But that is not what you would do. You would likely go to the neighbor and ask how he cared for and fertilized his tree to produce such fruit. It is the same with our children - luscious fruit will be born from what we put into them - not from what we tie onto them. As a matter of fact, in no time, the fruit that we put onto our children will rot and fall off."

There's a better way than tying fruit onto myself or my children.  I want to grow real fruit and that's only going to happen if I'm connected to Christ.  I need His work in me.  I'm opening myself to Him and asking Him to change me from the inside instead of getting tripped up by the temptation to focus on the outward form.  Christ resides in me and will infuse life in me. That's when good, sweet fruit will come.   


 

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